


Love is a gamble, worth the repeated loss

by angededesespoir



Series: Mc76 Week [1]
Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: (Gabe is mentioned), Angst, Canon-Typical Violence, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, M/M, Multi, Other, death of random enemies implied, smoking mention, venting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-09
Updated: 2017-01-09
Packaged: 2018-09-15 23:34:50
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 872
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9263804
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/angededesespoir/pseuds/angededesespoir
Summary: McCree's lost him before (in more ways than one), and now that he knows he's still alive, he doesn't want to lose him again.





	

**Author's Note:**

> _For Mc76 Week- Day 2- Loss. So.....I’m just getting into shipping Mc76. While this ficlet is focusing on an interaction between Jack & McCree, I also mention at several points that Jack, Jesse, and Gabe were once in a relationship with eachother (b/c McReaper76 is one of my OT3s now & I cannot be stopped!). I hope this is acceptable (and that McCree doesn't seem too OOC). Now on to the angst~_  
>  
> 
> _(Can also be read on[Tumblr](http://angededesespoir.tumblr.com/post/155616631215/love-is-a-gamble-worth-the-repeated-loss).)_

He should have realized sooner, but here he his, out on the field with Soldier: 76, the pieces finally falling into place as he takes in the familiar frame, the pattern of movements -now a little stiffer- that he had memorized long ago. The name is past his lips before he can stop himself.

Soldier flinches, hoping that the man did not notice and trying not to react more than he already has.

McCree’s crushing a cigarillo out on the sole of his boot, angrily tossing it to the ground.  
“So it is you, ain’t it?! You bastard! You-”

There’s the sound of boots racing their way, and he tries to shoot, but his hand is shaking and his vision is starting to blur.

He fires, but for once his aim is off. 

He hears the sound of the pulse rifle banging off, then the footfalls are no more. 

There’s a moment of silence, which he breaks, again.

“You bastard.”

The tears are starting to fall. He’s held everything in for so long. Buried it under bottles of bourbon & the sound of bullets hitting their mark.  
He cannot count how many times he had wished for a second chance. Now, now he doesn’t know how to think or feel. 

He does not register the man approaching, but he feels the hand settling on his shoulder. “Kid, now’s not the time. You need to focus, or you’re going to get us killed.”

He roughly jerks from the grasp. “Damn you, Jack! I’m not a kid anymore. Haven’t been for a long time. Why do you insist on treating me like that?” _'You stopped that a long time ago. Why the sudden reversion?'_

His hands are curled into fists. He has not felt so much anger, so much betrayal in years. Of all the people..... “What? Is that the reason why you didn’t come to me, come tell me the truth, let me know you were still alive?! Is that the reason you've been here for weeks and you still kept this from me?! Think that I can't handle the truth?! Dammit, Morrison, dammit!”

He rubs at his eyes roughly, trying to cease the flow, to hide the shudder of his frame. After all this time…..

He’s pulled in, arms wrapped around him, and body firmly, but gently, dragging him back into the shadows. 

“McCree.....Jesse. Shhh. I didn’t mean to hurt you, Jesse. But it was easier this way. I didn’t want to involve you in something so dangerous. I didn't want you dragged into something that had nothing to do with you. Especially when you were already free. I’m sorry that I hurt you, but I still think this was the best decision.”

He sniffles, pulls his head from the shoulder to look up, tries to steady his voice. “Of course. Just like keeping secrets from Gabe was the best decision. Just like pushing him away was the best decision. Isn’t that right, Commander?”

His eyes are fierce, but show a minefield of pain and hints of worry.

“Do you have any clue how much ya hurt the both of us?” He swallows, throat tight, but the words still needing to be said. “Why couldn’t you just let us love you, support you? Why do you always insist on carrying the weight of the world all on your own?”

He feels the man pulling back. “You know nothing, McCree. And you know even less if you think a person like me deserves anyone’s love or concern, especially yours, kid.”

“I’m not a kid!” He tries to breathe,fists trembling. “You know, I thought the same about myself once upon a time, that I didn’t deserve anyone’s time of day, that all I was worth was the results that I could produce. But then you & Gabe, you showed me different.”

He leans forward, body heavy against him. “This was never just your fight, Jack. And you’re not just a soldier.” His hands are digging into the jacket, keeping the man close.

“Maybe I can help you like you helped me. Please, darlin’. I’m strong. I can handle this. Just let me in. Please, Jack, I don’t want to lose you again.” His throat is getting unbearably tight, voice starting to crack. He finds that it hurts as much to bare his heart, as it does not to show it. 

He feels the body pulling away from him, again, strong hands prying his fingers from the cloth. “You need to focus, McCree. There are enemies to hunt down.”

He feels his heart plummet. For not the first time, he wants to go back, to a time when things were simpler. Before he knew of the rising corruption, when he was still greeted with tender hands and kisses, Jack’s sweet nothings and Gabriel’s praise. When the jadedness and the distance hadn’t consumed his two anchors

and pulled them away.

“Y-yes, sir.” 

He blinks, desperately holding back the tears as his hand fumbles to find and ready his gun.

He tries to forget the ways both men would soothe his nerves- whispers from the battlefield and tangled limbs in the bedroom.

His finger curls around the trigger in practiced motion.

Some things are best left forgotten.

**Author's Note:**

> For clarification, in case anyone was wondering, when I ship Jesse during his Blackwatch days, he's at least 20.


End file.
